Sis-in-law

At the risk of sounding really corny, I'm just so thrilled to have my sis-in-law in my life... today I got a huge gift in the mail because one of her chief personality traits is generosity. It's my second favorite trait of hers, right behind immediate and copious texting capabilities.

So here's to Dana, (I know bro was involved too, but let's face facts, he does not often mail gifts) who sent me awesome handmade jewelry, handmade glass beads, fab books, a great hippie bag, and a coat for my imminent (OK, eventual) move to Ludington.

This was in addition to the special necklace bought at the health food store in Ludington to help manifest the move...

Thanks Sis!

Love the Seasons

When I decided to leave Winter Wonderland, which used to be a marketing phrase for Michigan, probably because it would have been too rude to go with, "When the last person leaves, please turn the lights out," people would say, oh, but won't you miss the seasons?

Well, we have those kind of seasons within driving distance - drive 2 hours and you get snow and can watch the leaves change if that is hugely important to you.

But we have great seasons in Phoenix too - we just left Uncontained Trash season, and today is the first official day for Pumpkin Pie Blizzard season, otherwise known as the Sugar Solstice. Close on its heels, but still plenty of time to buy gifts, is Eggnog Latte season.

It's true that Summer is our longest season, but today I'm grateful that it won't come back until mid-February.

Here are some season pictures for you.

Monsanto

So what do you do when you get a job from the devil, or a devil associate?

I expressed concern about doing work for Monsanto, so I am getting it in stages and can step out at any time.

Grateful for the work, which is around "sustainability?" Or knowing that "sustainability" in Monsanto's case means financial sustainability for their board members, should I just say no?

Blech.

Wallace-L

I can't say enough good stuff about the Wallace listserv. A bunch of over-educated, incredibly well-read and intimidatingly erudite people, turn out to be the nicest, most generous people I've met on any list.

Here's some examples of generosity since DFW died:

George sent out cd's of recordings that he and his friends had acted out, of unpublished interviews from Brief Interviews with Hideous Men.

Ryan created a database that compiled essays by and about DFW.

People who had met him or were his students told very personal anecdotes.

One person started a thread of all the news coverage and tributes so we wouldn't have to search them out.

Jason Kottke (kottke.org) designed a T-shirt as a tribute to both Infinite Jest and DFW.

Nick of The Howling Fantods bought more server space for storage and extra traffic.

And several people have offered to moderate a re-read of Infinite Jest.

That's just in the past two weeks.

Kiva

I'd heard about microloans but hadn't done anything about it, and then a friend sent a link to Kiva, where he had just made small loans to a woman in Azerbaijan. At Kiva.org, you can make loans as low as $25 to low-income entrepreneurs in places like Cambodia, Senegal, and Azerbaijan. You are part of a group making small loans, which add up to bigger loans, for things like cloth, cow fodder, or even a used motorcycle, all meant to help their businesses get started or grow, to earn their way out of poverty.

You choose the enterpreneur and the amount, so if you don't want to sponsor, say, raising cattle for meat, you can choose a clothing manufacturer or fruits and vegetables to resell at market. You don't just donate to Kiva, although you can help them with admin costs when checking out at Pay-pal, which handles the transitions. The pay-back rates are very high, and are tracked through your name at one of your pages at the site, which also include your portfolio and track your invites to other people.

So I made loans to two groups of women in Lahore, Afghanistan; one group is making toys for kids and the other needed fruits and vegetables for an expanding business. These requests were posted and filled in one day - for over $500. The site is so popular that it's sometimes difficult to find a business to loan to. Which is a great thing.

So check it out. Nothing makes you feel gratitude more than reading through these entrepreneurs' stories.

Bothersome

Apparently many new people are getting into David Foster Wallace now, which is fine, it's a good thing, it will help them and amuse them and will provide money to his relatives.

But nothing fries me more than people who claim to be huge fans who never paid attention previously. Is there anything sicker than that?

On the positive side, people that I know and care about, seeing how upset the death made me, are reading him and one is even afraid he won't like him, that it will upset me. That is a good friend. And no, it won't upset me.

Those people more than make up for the idiots and the maladjusted. And isn't that what friends are all about? Helping to level and set right the crap we're exposed to every day.

David Markson was a favorite writer of DFW's, and he published a book of poetry as well. This one is apt and the last line is eerily prescient.

Skull
That’s Dostoyevsky’s skull beside my desk.
Oh well, perhaps it’s Percy Shelley’s then.
In either case the skull’s a skull, no fear:
True tears in those two hooded sockets once.
The teeth are bad, which may mean youth was gone;
Were Gogol’s teeth undone? Were Baudelaire’s?

One night, oh, years ago, Jack Kerouac
Contrived to wedge a candle stub in there;
We meant to watch it glow, but only slits
Along that jaw would let out any light.
“This thankless peon’s got no soul,” Jack said.
Next day on breakfast thought he swore it Poe.

There’s scarce profundity in this, lame ploy
To balance out one’s grimmer view of things;
Like questioning how long the soul’s rot takes,
Let’s say: would Jack himself be clean bone yet?
Ah, Christ, trust life to intervene indeed –
And darken even jests that keep us sane.

What's on your list?

Why is life worth living? Of course, everything you need to be 'happy' is inside you... but obviously, some things or people make your day, or your month, or stick with you throughout your life.

Like Woody says, certain things that make it worthwhile, like... Louis Armstrong's recording of Potato Head blues, Swedish movies (naturally)...

what's on your list?

some of mine:

The dunes by Lake Michigan near Ludington
David Foster Wallace - anything by him really
Hummingbirds on the porch in the morning
Sunlight shining thru the blinds in my room
My brother's humor
Son Volt's Okemah and the Melody of Riot
Beethoven's 7th Symphony
Thai food
Wes Anderson films
My dog arguing with me
Pearl Jam concerts
Hiking behind Piestewa Peak
Paris

Manifesting Landscaping Glass

I was trying to find this glass that people use in landscaping and container gardening - it is ground in such a way that there are no sharp edges and you can walk on it. I want to create a path from my house to the guesthouse that looks like a little stream, with wood planks over it like a bridge. So I've been looking for the blue variety of the glass - I saw it at the Mesa Arts Center, so I know it exists, unlike other things I sometimes look for that somehow I made up.

Turns out my friend Barb's brother, Jim Andela, invented the machine that produces it and the process and machine were featured on the History Channel. Their company produces the landscaping glass and sells it as well.

So tell everyone what you are seeking.

My New Neighbor

A couple months back, my next door neighbor came running up to me when I was taking the dog for a walk in the park. Apparently someone was throwing out a bunch of styrofoam on the next block over. We high-tailed it over there and sure enuf, people were loading a van up with styrofoam of every shape and size.

I actually buy the stuff to use as a base for mosaic projects, so I was pretty stoked. Not only did they give it to me, but my new neighbor, Jackie, and her sister, Laurel, drove the styrofoam over to my house in said van and asked politely to see my studio.

They liked my style and are going to take a class. Jackie is only in town from CA one day a week for work, but weeks went by and I hadn't heard from her. Friday I walked past her house and thought, how great it would be to have a meal or just coffee with Jackie and see how she is liking Phoenix.

So she calls Saturday and invites me to breakfast. This morning, over complicated eggs (peppers, greens, onions, tortilla strips) we get chatting about our weird little neighborhood and the fact that almost all the former board members of our much-maligned park association have quit. This is good news; she is a good messenger.

So I recommitted to attending a meeting later today with Jackie and another neighbor to see if we can stir up some positives.

Oh, and I will teach Jackie and several other guinea pigs their first mosaics class the week before Thanksgiving.

The Cat

When you work at home the interruptions and distractions are still there, but usually take a different form than the hustle and crap at an office.

On Thursday a guy cut the next door neighbor's entire front and side yard with a weed wacker. I thought it was a chain saw at first. After 1/2 hour I finally looked out and saw he was only about 1/3 of the way through. So I took a break, took a shower, read a short story. This was a luxury - a day without deadlines. I had about 20 emails when I got back but no one complained.

Almost every day, my cat climbs onto the keyboard and puts his nose right in my face. There is no ignoring him. If I relocate him to another part of the desk, or a chair, anywhere else, he just accepts that part of the routine and comes right back. So Friday I just tried relaxing when he got there, petting him, just sitting with him.

It was calming and peaceful, just like all the articles describe. Not sure if my blood pressure went down but it felt like it. And I really looked at him - he has odd black patches - across one eye and around his ear, a stripe down the back of one leg, and then a completely black tail. We just sat and looked at each other for a few minutes, and then he went on his way.

King Deighv

This is water... this is water...

In the past few months the concept of staying in the moment has been presented, re-presented, and tested.

Following the death of David Foster Wallace, I started re-reading some of his work, including the Kenyon commencement speech he made in 2005. The gist of it is found in the last lines:

"The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness -- awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water."

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive, day in and day out."

It IS unimaginably hard to do this.

I have also been reading and watching Eckhart Tolle, who gives practical examples of how to remain in the now, as well as great reasons for doing so.

It seems that that practice, and the action of doing for others, is the key to prolonged happiness and its righteous cousin, peace of mind.

So I am going to post my little moments of awareness and gratitude every day, to practice, and to be sure that at least in one or two moments every day, I am here.

Or, as DFW said, "I am in here."